I know I should've been strong. I know I should've call you. I know I should've gave you spirit. But I can't stand myself from crying everytime I see you. I miss your smiles. I miss your laugh. I miss your cooking.. I really do. InsyaAllah, everything's going to be okay. Yeah, InsyaAllah. Talking to the phone, I'm scared if I might cry while talking to you, which I did. But I tried to hold it but I can't.
Grandma said, I should motivate you & telling you everything's gonna be fine since I'm the eldest, but how can I blow your spirit when I'll cry when I talk to you? :'(
Even you're only miles away in Malaysia's neighbour, talking to you made me cry out of nowhere.
I might seem like not care about you, but I do. Like when I;m in the hospital, I try not to be near you 'cause everytime I do, I got this undescribeable feelings in my heart and all of sudden, my tears start to fall. Yes, you're all fine. You're not having a dangerous disease or something. Alhamdulillah, you're just fine. But, I just can't stand looking you being weak.
Blurghhhhhhh. Undescribeable. What type of daughter am I? :(
Ya Allah, please gave her back her health. Ya Allah, please put the smile back on her face.
I am actually feeling guilty for not calling her always.
Lots of love, Syafiqah Ismail. Xoxo
